Written by Maggie Hendrick
The previous articles (part 1 and part 2) focused on articulating the gospel message well because this last article would be pretty useless if we weren’t prepared for that last step. Once you have the head knowledge, where you know the gospel and have scripture prepared, how do you get into a circumstance where you can use it?
Two Main Takeaways
To start, I want to share two main takeaways from my time evangelizing. First, be friendly and genuinely curious about the individual in front of you. Everyone you talk to is interesting; they are made in God’s image and have unique stories and beliefs. Presumptions will be counterproductive. I have spoken to over a hundred Mormons; I know Mormon doctrine well, but every Mormon I’ve talked to is different. Sure, there are similarities, and my knowledge of Mormon doctrine is helpful, but they are unique individuals, often have different beliefs, and sometimes don’t even agree with Mormon doctrine. We set the correct tone for the rest of the conversation when we are friendly and genuinely curious.
Second, humor is highly effective. My husband is great at this! It is part of being friendly and keeping things pleasant. Humor can make hard truths more palatable. We aren’t making light of the serious message; we are using humor to soften the delivery. Humor is also helpful in keeping their attention. With these takeaways at the forefront of your mind, let’s get into Tactics!
Questions are your Best Friend
Many times, I am asked, “Maggie, how do I talk to my Muslim neighbor?” or “I don’t know what to say to my friend who walked away from their faith.”, or “I have a co-worker who is an atheist and very opinionated. How do I share Christ with them?”. Name any unique scenario or conversation, and Tactics works. Tactics author Greg Koukl gives a few examples of questions or claims he has received, and I added some of my own. Tell me if any of these sound familiar to you:
“Abortion is fine because it is just a fetus.”
“Religion is bad, I just consider myself more spiritual.”
“God is love; who am I to tell people who they can and can’t love?”
How would you have responded to each of those? Here is my recommendation: questions are your best friend. Remember being friendly and curious about the person in front of you. If you’re genuinely curious about the person in front of you, how will you get to know them better? By asking questions! Let’s skim over Greg Koukl’s Columbo Questions. The three questions that he uses to steer a conversation are:
What do you mean by that?
How did you come to that conclusion?
Have you considered….?
Here is how these may look in our previous examples:
“Abortion is fine because it is just a fetus.” “What do you mean by fetus?”
“Religion is bad, I just consider myself more spiritual.” “How did you come to that conclusion?”
“God is love, who am I to tell people who they can and can’t love?” “Have you considered that loving someone means you want the best for them, even if it makes either of you unhappy or uncomfortable?”
Back to this topic of questions being your best friend, I want to hone in on the evangelism part. All of the examples I just gave did not conclude with me getting to the gospel. So I want to show you what using questions to get to the gospel looks like.
Ultimate Tip
Here is my personal, ultimate tip. If you have your three-sentence gospel from the previous article and this tip, I am confident you can get into a circumstance where you can share the gospel. Are you ready? Ask them the questions that you want them to ask you. Ask them the questions that you want to answer. Greg Koukl wrote that the benefit of the Columbo question 1, “What do you mean by that?”, is that the more they talk, the more information we have to work with. But I’ve noticed another benefit. The benefit of asking questions and letting them talk for the majority of the time is that they will, at some point, feel socially obligated to let you talk. I don’t mean this as a trick; it is just a simple observation of our social etiquette. Everyone reading this is guilty of it—we want to ask questions that we want to answer because I bet a similar conversation happened to you this week:
You saw your friend, hugged each other, and one of you asked, “How was your week?” The other replied,“Great!” and continued to share how they potty trained little Timmy and went to dinner with their cousins who were in town. And then what did they say after they went on and on about their week? “And how was your week?”
I don’t make the rules. It’s just what we do. “How are you today?”…“I am good, how are you?”
Am I right?
This normally occurs when I share the gospel with Mormons. We have probably had over 30 different LDS missionaries over to our home for dinner in the past few years. And I’ll ask them: “Can you tell me what the gospel is according to the Book of Mormon? According to your church, what is the gospel?”. They are excited to talk about their beliefs! I let them speak, and I intently listen. Everyone is different, so I don’t presume I know what they will say.
But they eventually turn to us almost without fail and ask, “What do you think the gospel is?” They asked me a question I want to answer, that I am prepared to answer, and I now have the floor and their attention to answer. Write that tip down; ask questions that you want to answer, let them talk, and wait. One of those questions will eventually be given back to you.
Transition to the Gospel
But how do I get to the gospel? We aren’t looking to do more pre-evangelism and have spiritual conversations; we want to get to the good news! As a former math tutor, I couldn’t help but make a formula and a chart to get to the gospel easily. With my ultimate tip in mind, what if they don’t turn the question back on you? How do you get to answer a question of your choice? Usually, at this point in a conversation, if we have done a good job listening and letting them talk for the vast majority of the time, the transition to the gospel is seamless:
Ask the question you want to answer to get to the gospel. Maybe it is: “What is the purpose of life?” “Who is Jesus to you?” or, my personal favorite, “If you died today, where would you go and why?”
Listen intently to their answer.
Ask, “Have you ever heard a Christian answer that question?”
They reply no: ask for permission to share the Christian perspective
They reply yes: ask them to share what they know, listen, find something to agree with, then ask for permission to clarify
I like that word clarify. Most people will be generous and give you the floor because they aren’t looking to misunderstand you on purpose. Two examples of this may go something like:
Ask “What is the purpose of life?”
Listen intently to their answer.
Ask, “Have you ever heard a Christian answer that question?”
They reply no.
Ask “Do you mind if I share what the purpose of life is?” (insert gospel)
Ask “Who is Jesus to you?”
Listen intently to their answer.
Ask, “Have you ever heard a Christian answer that question?”
They reply yes.
Ask, “Could you tell me what you’ve heard Christians tell you about Jesus?”
Listen intently and be agreeable when possible.
Ask, “Yes he is the most important person to our faith and taught us how to live a moral life, but it is a little more than that. Do you mind if I clarify?” (insert gospel)
The Ultimate Example
The summary of everything so far is this: Whenever you’re feeling stumped, in a conversation you feel ill-equipped for, feel like someone just put you in the hot seat, or you find yourself in a pickle, ask a good question.
And do you know who else used good questions when people tried to stump him? Do you know who asked good questions to make people think about their position? Do you know who used leading questions to make his point? Jesus! Over and over, Jesus used questions to point people to the truth. He is the ultimate example of being wise as serpents and innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16). Let’s take a page from his playbook!
Miscellaneous Tips
I want to leave you with a few miscellaneous tips as you embark on the Great Commission. The first is that one-on-ones work better. I have had many group discussions, but people are more vulnerable when they don’t have an audience. The next tip is to watch your body language. Sometimes when we are listening intently, we get a blank stare on our faces. So, smile and nod, show them you are listening. And third, plan in advance. Spend time writing a three-sentence gospel to a particular person in mind. Consider what question you’re scared someone will ask you and prepare for that now. Think about what opening question you want to use in various conversations. Spend time considering these things in advance so you’ll be ready.
Encouragement
Now, practice doesn’t make perfect, but it definitely makes it better. Learning a new skill takes time and practice. That’s my keyword of encouragement and exhortation for you: PRACTICE. Maybe all of this still seems hard to you, and that’s ok. But it won’t get easier until you practice. You could read hundreds of articles, but you still won’t truly grow in evangelism until you do it. That is my prayer for you. I pray you will grow in your love and knowledge of the Lord to become better ambassadors.
1. Greg Koukl, Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Christian Convictions (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2019).
2. Koukl, Tactics, 55.