How to Have Engaging & Meaningful Conversations with Your Kids About Secular Music 

By Margaret Luevano

Getting Kids to Have a Conversation May Require Some Creativity

If you are like me, you have probably asked your kids “How was your day?” only to get a one-word answer like “fine” with no additional discussion. I realized I needed to be more creative in my questions and ideas so I could have deeper, more meaningful conversations. 

Since my kids loved music, I decided one way to do this was to have conversations about the messages portrayed in songs that had shaped our culture. When I was young, I remember mindlessly singing along with songs, not realizing what the songs were about until years later. As my own kids got older and started developing their own interests and absorbing various content on their own, I wanted to converse about some of the things they were listening to. Rather than just warning them about these messages or telling them what to think, I wanted to hear their perspective and encourage them to think more deeply about the messages being communicated and to consider them biblically.

What If There Is Resistance?

Some kids may be resistant to having conversations, but the way it is framed can make all the difference. At school, I ask the students to teach me more about what is popular so that I can be more up to date. My own kids enjoy helping mom be “more in touch” too.  

Another idea would be to share some popular songs you liked when you were younger and have the kids rip them to shreds. This would probably feel like payback time!

I love this chance to deepen my relationship with my kids while all of us strengthen our critical thinking skills. One of my greatest joys came when my daughter was in college and would call me occasionally just to share ideas she had been hearing. She would tell me what she thought about them. What a pleasure it is to connect in this way! 

Five Questions to Ask That Will Get the Conversation Flowing

Years ago, I went to a breakout session at a conference I attended with a group called AXIS.¹ They introduced a framework with five questions that could be applied to any topic, including music, books, opinions, movies, social media, and more. I have used these five questions in all types of settings, and kids open up so much! 

1. What is good about the words/meaning?
2. What is wrong with the words/meaning?
3. What is missing?
4. What is confused? In other words, what concept of reality is the author confused about?
5. What does Scripture say?

Sample Songs for Analysis

The two examples here are geared toward middle school students and older. I recommend choosing different songs for younger children. Better yet, have your kids find some songs they would like to explore! 

You can choose songs where the worldview is expressed explicitly and simply, as in “Chandelier” by Sia or ones that are more indirect with subtle implications like “Imagine” by John Lennon. 

Song 1: “Chandelier” by Sia

One of the first songs I ever had a high school class analyze was “Chandelier” by Sia. My preferred version is from the show The Voice sung by Jordan Smith.²

Here are some of the answers I received from my students and my own kids with a few thoughts of my own sprinkled in. Your kids might have different answers that show other insights.  

1. What is good about the words/meaning of the song? The person the song is referring to (the narrator of the song) recognizes that she is trying to escape from pain. She realizes that escaping by partying and drinking is not good because she knows that the alcohol will wear off and she will feel the pain again and be ashamed.³ Recognizing these things as negative is important for getting on the right track and getting help. 

2. What is wrong? Even though the narrator knows she is pushing down the pain and drinking to escape, she can’t seem to help herself. She keeps doing it over and over. When the sun comes up, she again feels shame and defeat. She asks, “When will I learn?”⁴  

3. What is missing? The narrator only gets temporary pleasure from the parties, and even then, she still knows underneath that she is not happy. The answer to her problems is missing from the message. She doesn’t seem to know there is an answer that would help her find real meaning and lasting fulfillment in her life. 

4. What is confused? The narrator seems to want to avoid pain at all costs. She is even sacrificing her own health by drinking heavily and not facing reality. She is confused about how to cope with reality.

5. What does Scripture say? We all have a desperate need for the Savior. He redeems our souls and gives meaning even to our deepest pain. Knowing that God has our good and ultimate glorification (when we are with him) in mind, we can take comfort! God has told us there is a purpose for pain which builds endurance, character, and hope. (Romans 5:3–5). Not only is there a purpose for the pain, but we can count on the Lord to redeem the situations and work everything for the good of those that love him (Romans 8:28)! We can also take comfort knowing that we are not alone in our pain (John 16:33). Last, we take comfort in knowing that there is an ultimate reward that is so much greater than we can even imagine (Romans 8:18, 2 Corinthians 4:16–18). 

When my husband passed away, one of the greatest comforts was knowing Jesus was with me, and he would still use me for his glory. It was tempting to think, “There went the best years of my life; nothing else can be that good.” The Lord changed my perspective and showed me I still had purpose and a calling. Another comfort was knowing that in spite of my children only being in 8th and 12th grade at the time, I could rest in the fact that the Lord would teach them, guide them, and hold them in his hand. I did not need to live my life in a constant state of anxiety. Looking back over the past four years since his death, I see clearly God’s faithful hand in every aspect. I am so thankful we have Jesus!  

**Note: You don’t need to stop the analysis of the song with the lyrics; you can also include the vocalist in the analysis. Jordan openly says he is a devout Christian man and married his girlfriend Kristen Denny in 2016.⁵ What are some things that the secular world might think about him? Does what someone else thinks about you affect who you are or decide your identity? Who decides this? What is the world’s standard of measurement? What should the standard of measurement be?

Song 2: “Imagine” by John Lennon

The music is so incredibly beautiful, and the song leaves you mesmerized by its simple, beautiful melody and words, which at first sound like you should immediately agree with them. However, when you stop to think about the consequences of such beliefs, you realize that the beauty of the melody doesn’t match the philosophy of the song’s lyrics.  

It can be tempting to tell your kids what to think. In most cases, it is better to resist the temptation and invite them to listen carefully and wrestle with ideas for themselves. I have been surprised by how much they often discover on their own. 

I love when they recognize that nothing is truly neutral. Music, books, movies, words, and even thoughts all come from somewhere. Every message carries with it assumptions, values, and philosophies. Helping kids to use the word of God as the ultimate standard of truth against which we compare and examine every thought is significant (Ephesians 4:14).

One time I did an analysis of this song with one of my high school classes, and rather than listening to their ideas and asking thoughtful questions, I told them what to think in an overly negative and heavy-handed way and completely lost them. Imagine what might have happened if I had asked good questions to get them to come up with these ideas on their own. Instead, a few of the students, who were already somewhat rebellious in their attitude, became more resistant toward understanding the philosophy of the song and toward me. As a result of this experience, I changed my approach. The difference in their response is remarkable. Their faces light up when they uncover the deeper meaning of songs and distinguish the consequences of those beliefs.  

1. What is good? Perhaps Lennon is thinking of Utopia. Everyone would like to see a world where there is no suffering, no separation, no evil, no pain. A world where things were the way they “ought” to be, as C.S. Lewis describes.⁶ Another good thing is that Lennon recognizes peace as a good thing. He doesn’t want division. He wants unity. 

2. What is wrong? In this song, Lennon asks everyone to imagine there is no heaven or hell or any transcendent reality.⁷ This seems to present a secular humanist take since it sidesteps the supernatural. One consequence of this belief would mean no ultimate justice beyond death. If death is the end of existence for humans, then individuals such as Hitler and the apostles of Jesus have the same end: nothingness. Another thing that is wrong here is that Lennon seems to think the way being “imagined” in the lyrics is morally better. However, if nothing transcends the human experience, by what standard would he judge this? 

3. What is missing? One thing that is missing is recognizing what happens at the end of  “livin’ for today.”⁸ The living part doesn’t take away the end, death. The Bible refers to death as “the last enemy” (1 Corinthians 15:26). Lennon’s lyrics also miss the fact that you cannot have peace without having consequences for evil deeds. 

4. What is confused? There seems to be a confusion in this song about the source of problems. Here, it seems to assume all of our problems are external (the environment, possessions, religion, etc.) The song implies that without these things everyone would be fine and there would be peace. Lennon’s words don’t take into account the internal problem of the human heart. As we saw in the 20th century, with the atheistic ideology of Stalin, Mao Zedong, Pol Pot, and others, having no religion won’t solve the problem of the human heart. Their hearts weren’t right even though they didn’t have religion. There have been over 100 million victims of communist regimes.⁹

5. What does Scripture say? Scripture has a different view of the problem. The problem is not an outward one. The problem is inward: the heart. The Bible tells us, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:21–23). Scripture also says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). If there is nothing objective to die for, then the greatest expression of love anyone could ever have would not exist. Yet, the cross stands as a symbol that Jesus surpassed even this standard. He did not just die for his friends—“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). 

Further Study: “Stars” from the musical Les Misérables

*Caution: Mature themes in the story

The musical was a rendition taken from Victor Hugo’s 1962 book titled Les Misérables. My favorite version of “Stars” is when the group Callabro sang it on Britain’s Got Talent.¹⁰  Before analyzing the song with your kids, look into the characters Jean Valjean and Javert. What are their underlying beliefs, and how does that come out in the song? How did they both start out in life? How did they end up? What wrong beliefs did Javert have (as demonstrated in this song) that eventually caused him to take his own life?

Notes

1. Axis, “Biblical Resources to Help Parents Disciple Their Teens,” https://axis.org/, accessed May 22, 2026.
2. The Voice, “Jordan Smith’s ICONIC ‘Chandelier’ Blind Audition SHOCKED Coaches | The Voice | NBC,” YouTube, March 31, 2026, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mslg-tWx8G4.
3. AZ Lyrics, “Chandelier,” accessed June 1, 2026,   https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sia/chandelier.html.
4. AZ Lyrics, “Chandelier.” 
5. Melody Chiu, “‘The Voice’ Star Jordan Smith Weds His Longtime Love Kristen Denny,” People, June 25, 2016, https://people.com/celebrity/the-voice-star-jordan-smith-is-married/.

6. C.S. Lewis, Miracles: A Preliminary Study (Macmillan, 1947), 43–44.
7. AZ Lyrics, “Imagine,” accessed June 5, 2026,  https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnlennon/imagine.html.
8. AZ Lyrics, “Imagine.” 
9. Omar Fekeiki, “The Toll of Communism,” Washington Post, June 13, 2007, https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/style/2007/06/13/the-toll-of-communism/f5306b09-ef10-4919-969b-118f7c1d8fb8/.  
10. Britain’s Got Talent, “Collabro Sing Stars From Les Misérables | Britain’s Got Talent 2014,” YouTube, April 12, 2014, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob5UJS2WwQ8.